Cyber Laugh
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I want to tell you something.
Man: "Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something. I'm not rich like Jack. I don't have a mansion like Russell. I don't have a Porsche like Martin. But I do love you and I want to marry you."

Woman: "Oh, dear, I love you too! What was that you said about Martin?"
Wife wanted
This man was really lonely, so he posted an ad on a popular website. The ad said, simply: "Wife wanted."

He was surprised the next morning to find he had over a hundred replies in his inbox. Unfortunately, they all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Chosen one
Never laugh at your girlfriend's choices.

You're one of them.
What men realy love
I said, "I love you so much. I could never live without you."

My girlfriend giggled and asked, "Is that you talking or the beer?"

I said, "It's me talking to the beer."
I was in the shop looking for a jacket to buy my girlfriend as a present.

I couldn't decide which one to get, so I asked the salesman, "If you were buying a jacket for your girlfriend, which one would you get?"

He said, "A bulletproof one. I'm married."
Love is blind
What's the difference between love and marriage?

Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener.
Love means nothing
Why should you not marry a tennis player?

Because love means nothing to them.
Valentine's Day
Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?

Yes, it is February 14th.
As warning
Q: Daddy, why are all those cars beeping their horns?

A: Because there's a wedding going happening.

Q: Don't we been the horn a warning signal, Daddy?

A: Exactly, son.
An old guy walks into a bar
An old guy walks into a bar and the bartender asks for ID. "You've got to be kidding," he said. "I'm almost 60 years old."
The bartender apologized, but said he had to see the license. The guy showed his ID, then paid and told the bartender to keep the change. "The tip's for carding me," he said.
The bartender put the change in the tip cup. "Thanks," he said. "Works every time."

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