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multi-syllable words
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!"
Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?"
Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful."
Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
earned $20 by climbing a tree
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree.
Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!"
Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"
trapped on an island
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
If I gave you 6 cats
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Six."
Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven!"
Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"
Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"
What does IDK stand for?
Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"

Brunette: "I donít know."

Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"
differences between the sexes
A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better.
Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, "Here's something I have that you'll never have!"
The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying.
A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, "My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!"
Two blondes fell down a hole
Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?"

The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."
Is Google male or female?
Q: Is Google male or female?

A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
lost in the desert.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert.
They found a lamp and rubbed it.
A genie popped out and granted them each one wish.
The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home.
The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family.
The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
Why did I get divorced?
Why did I get divorced?
Well, last week was my birthday.
My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday.
My parents forgot and so did my kids.
I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday.
As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!"
I felt so special.
She asked me out for lunch.
After lunch, she invited me to her apartment.
We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?"
"Okay," I said.
She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa..

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